Korean culture 101: contradiction and curiosity

Korean culture is vastly different to that of any other I have experienced in my travels. I suspect that much of this perspective has come from living and working here (as opposed to just travelling), but even just a few days in this country would be enough to leave you simultaneously awed, amused and perplexed. 

It is hard to put into words the experiences I have had - even a simple trip to downtown Daegu provokes so many thoughts and reactions. I would challenge anyone to complete this trip without thinking at least some of the following:

• "What is he/she thinking?!" (usually in reference to demonstrations of general impracticality, bizarre clothing or a fluorescent dyed dog)
• "Don't these people have any manners?" (in reference to being pushed and shoved both on and off the subway despite it being half empty)
• "You wouldn't see that in my country" (practicality/common sense with regard to general health and safety)
• "That was close" (after nearly getting run over - on the footpath)
• "That's disgusting" (after hearing yet another man emphatically clearing mucous from his throat and spitting it on the pavement in front of you)
• "Have I got something on my face/in my teeth?" (constantly being stared at in streets/stores/subway)

In this post I'm going to attempt to sum up some of Korea's idiosyncrasies - some endearing, others not so much. Enjoy! 

Driving: I've mentioned this before, but the driving here is really a stand-out feature and deserves an honourable mention. I have it on good authority that it takes only two weeks, zero experience and very little effort to obtain a full driving licence - this is abundantly clear from the carnage I see every day on the roads. Move over, Italy and Latvia - you've got nothing on South Korea! Footpaths are not just for people. It is not uncommon to walk along the path only to find a bicyle, motorbike, car or small truck bearing down on you, tooting indignantly. If the light is red, just drive your car up onto the footpath and around the lights - hey presto, wait avoided! Indicators are for decoration, and are not required when executing high speed lane changes. Parking also beggars belief - no matter where you go, you get the feeling you've just missed yet another parking competition for blind people.

After observing such driving it does become clearer however, that our complaints about Asian drivers in New Zealand are not without justification. No matter where they go in the world they exhibit similar driving behaviour - I now understand that their driving skills (or lack thereof) are virtually inherent, and no amount of local driving education (or panelbeating) is going to alter this.

Spitting: This is something I will never, ever adapt to. Despite their paranoia about disease (swine flu!) they do not find it in the least bit unhygenic to spit ... anywhere. Train stations, subways, hallways, you name it. If it doesn't move, spit on it. If it moves, you didn't spit quickly enough! Age and gender are no barrier to spitting either - it's not uncommon to hear someone hoicking up a lung or two onto the pavement and then turning around to find yourself looking at a 70-year old grandmother! 

Holding bags: If you are standing on the bus, it is not uncommon to have a seated stranger take your bags for you. It is considered polite, even though it sometimes seems like you're being robbed ever so politely and willingly. I've had it happen once, and seen it happen to others on many occasions. In most other countries in the world you wouldn't see your bag again, nor would you give it up quite so obligingly! 

Public displays of affection: This is generally something you don't see in Korea, however it is very common amongst same-sex friends. It is not uncommon to see girls holding hands, or boys strolling down the street with their arms around each other. Koreans are very comfortable with their sexuality which at times is refreshing, and other times a litle perturbing! Last night at the gym I witnessed a rather strange sight - a young Korean guy (early 20's) sitting back on a shoulder press while his friend sat straddled across his hips and crotch in order to talk to him. Interesting! 

Making loud noises in public places:  In apparent incongruity to many Korean ways (including loud and disgusting hoiking), Koreans are greatly offended at loud noises in public places - this includes conversation on the subway. I couldn't begin to count the number of times I've been with friends and we've been shushed by locals (usually elderly, but not always!). 

Korean 'love sticks': No, this is not romantic, nor does it refer to some deviant Korean sexual practice. It is in fact the most contradictory term for a stick used to beat children with. I kid you not. Corporal punishment is rife in Korean schools - although technically illegal it is widely practiced and generally accepted (according to surveys around 7 out of 10 schools practice it). Traditionally, Korean children have been viewed as their parent's possessions and are taught to accept punishment as a form of acceptable discipline. Obedience is seen as being essential to maintaining family harmony and taking a beating (whether it be from parents or teachers) is a somewhat abject display of filial piety. This is purely conjecture on my part - I am uneducated on the subject and in no way agree with it or condone it as I believe it is a short-term solution to longer-term problems (and in itself creates further psychological problems). To illustrate this point, earlier this year, a Korean student was flogged over 100 times at school and then went home to commit suicide. There are companies who specialise in making 'love sticks', although these are often replaced with other common household items such as pipes, bats, broom handles, golf clubs and even good old fists.

A lovingly handcrafted Korean 'love stick'

Men with megaphones*:  Quite literally the bane of my existence in this country. We get told off for talking on the subway, yet when armed with a small truck and a megaphone it is perfectly acceptable for anyone to park up in a quiet suburban neighbourhood and shout incessantly into said megaphone. Those who do this are usually hawking some kind of product - watermelons, cassette tapes (yes, they still make them apparently), tangerines - product is no barrier to megaphone advertising. The most infuriating part of the whole exercise is that I can't understand a word they say and generally there are around three sentences repeated. Over. And over. And over again. Usually for long enough to rouse you from blissful slumber early on the weekend, or as I discovered today, at 7am on a Wednesday morning. I tend to keep my windows shut to try and block out at least some of the noise (and the accompanying familiar, full-bodied diesel exhaust bouquet). 

*  This Korean 'phenomenon' was summed up beautifully by Luke Martin (author of ROKetship) - make sure you check it out! 

Removing your shoes: Shoes are not worn indoors in this country - period. At first I found this a little strange, but I have come to accept it, understand it and appreciate it! I first wondered about the logic - after all, we wear our shoes inside at home in New Zealand and it's perfectly ok, right? After wandering pavements covered in mucous, you soon realise that this is an eminently practical idea. When you look at the bottoms of your shoes and think about what you have stepped in that day, it makes absolute perfect sense - I'm going to find it difficult to return to the Western practice of leaving them on when I get home! It scares me to think of all the disgusting filth in our carpets. 

Shopping: Although the selection and stores here are great, I have discovered that browsing in a store is not so much individual pursuit as a team sport. You cannot set foot inside a Korean shop without being greeted and followed around the store by a minimum of one shop assistant. Constantly. When I say followed, I don't mean at a distance. I mean shadowed, stared at, full-blown personal space invasion. In your face. Koreans do not find this unusual in the slightest, and I suspect it is their interpretation of excellent customer service. Unfortuantely it is not mine, and serves only to frustrate me. I often find myself leaving stores because of it - I really have to be in the right mood to shop in this country! It happens less frequently when you shop with a friend, but still occurs. Jeannine and I went into a shoe shop on this premise and were shadowed by a male store clerk who also serenaded us with a Beyonce song ... you don't get that every day! He then proceeded to try and rip Jeannine off to the tune of 40,000 won for a pair of shoes, which he quickly reduced to 10,000 when we began leaving the store. I'd have happily paid him that to stop his atrocious singing!

Ajuma: The quintessential little old Korean ladies. Ajuma are a law unto themselves. Usually elderly, they have black, permed hair, tattooed eyebrows, very colourful clothing and the quintessential pièce de résistance - a large visor. High velocity, low centre-of-gravity, they're feisty and often funny but by god you don't mess with them. They have no hesitation in exercising their Confucianistic right to respect for age and will happily shove you out of the way to get on the bus first, or give you an elbow in the kidneys in order to get that last little free sample at the E-Mart food hall. They don't take any crap from anybody!

To my horror, my Korean teacher also tells me that the term 'ajuma' actually refers to an unmarried woman over the age of 30 - the downhill slide has well and truly begun! Maybe I should invest in a visor...

Free stuff: Just about everything you purchase in this country comes with free stuff. Buying skin care products? Get a free set of tupperware containers and a million different free samples. Buying makeup? Free crockery. Groceries? Free paper towels. Yesterday on my box of cereal I got a free packet of highlighters - go figure. It's definitely not a complaint though, I have received some great free stuff! If I break out some Korean at the local store I get free lifesavers. If you smile at old people, they smile back and sometimes give you fruit (?!). Men give me chewing gum. Little kids give me acorns. Either they're all-round generous or I'm missing some important symbolism! (halitosis? scurvy?).

And that sums up my take on Korean Culture 101. More soon!